That’s all That’s Happened

“Arggg…Me be catching some fish now.”

“Seriously, what if she calls the cops on us?”

I say, “Take it easy, that would never happen.”

Kate laughs, “Oh yeah, because your side of the family would never call the cops on our side of the family. That’s never happened. Oh, hold on a sec, that’s all that’s happened.”

“Oh no, this is all my dad’s fault. I hate him so much,” says Sam.

I say, “Sam, settle down, I’ll take the heat, okay?”

“You overdramatic fuckers,” says Kate. “Drink some whisky and pull yourselves together. Sam you’ve got to ease up on your dad.”

“I hate him.”

“And unless you got some fucking heroin with your booze in that duffle bag there’s going to be no heat. Claire’s going to wake up and realize she’s in exactly the kind of fucking city she should be in, realize she gets to hang out with us instead of those old pricks on the other side of the lake, drink a shot and have a good time. Trust me, she’ll love this.”

Sam says, “I’m pretty sure you didn’t talk to Claire once today.”

“No, but I was watching her when she walked in, and…whatever, she can have fun because this is fucking happening and it’s fine.”